When COVID-19 Dreams Turn Into a Mirage
Most of you have likely heard or read something about COVID-19 dreams during this stay at home decade (ok, it just feels like a decade right now).
An expert has said talking through your experiences on social media can help your mind get over these dreams and move onto a better night of sleep. The expert also said talking to a health care physician helps. It seems to me that a health care physician has better things to do right now than listen to a patient go on and on about a round virus thing that looks like a big pimple chasing you around work while you are in pajamas.
For me, I do not plan to call a physician, but I do have an issue. My issue is similar to being in the middle of a desert on a hot day and having hallucinations. You know the visual, on your knees, nothing but sun and sand around, and you see a large lake, but no, it’s a mirage. It is the same kind of mirage or image that you see when you look at the clouds and see a bear, a bunny, or a guy with a mullet next to a lion (oh, shoot that is a Netflix documentary, my bad).
Most every day, I hike a mountain. From my driveway, it is about one-mile to near the top, well a little less than one mile.
On a regular basis, week after week, pre-COVID-19, I hiked the trail.
Then, during the worldwide pandemic, I continue to hike the neighborhood mountain pretty much every day. The story might be more interesting if I said I discovered a cloud formation that looked like a peace sign; or maybe little children in a group hug showing signs of unity.
But no, my imagination did not take me there. Instead, it takes place just before the top, where there is a switchback area on the trail that, during the spring, blooms many desert flowers.
My COVID-19 mirage, my “dream”:
I see a gopher. To me, it looks like the gopher from Caddyshack. Unlike my bird story, I have not named this gopher; it is just the gopher from Caddyshack.
Now when I make the turn on the hike and see the gopher, the squeaking sound the gopher made during the Caddyshack movie goes through my head. It then progresses to the sound of the Bill Murray character mumbling how he will get the little varmint, as he builds the explosives.
Then, as I pass the little gopher guy, I think of the conclusion of the movie where the entire golf course gets blown up, but sure enough, the gopher lives on! I think of how he coughs out smoke from the bombing and then starts to dance.
On my way down, I will again pass the cactus looks like the gopher from Caddyshack, and move on. On most days.
Time for a photo shoot
One day I decided that this little gopher guy needed a photoshoot. A way to promote his existence.
After a couple of pictures, it made more sense to me to dress it up. Make it my poster child, er gopher, for the COVID-19 experience.
So that is what I did, and thankfully no other hikers came up the mountain at this time, or the ending to this story might be a little different.
After a few pictures of the hat and fanny pack, the little gopher guy seemed to be missing something. Ah yes, the COVID-19 mask, a sign of the times. So, I added the cloth mask. Once again, thankful no hikers decided to roll past me at this moment in my life.
Picture snapped. Several photos snapped, it is time to go down the mountain. In case you don’t know, in Arizona, there is a cactus called the jumping cactus. There are a few variations, but in short, if you get too close, the pickers jump onto you. Well, I am not too sure if the little gopher guy in my head is a jumping cactus, but the pickers sure did jump to my hat, my cloth mask and my fanny pack I use to carry my phone. And not just little pickers, a big ball of cactus pickers that just moments before probably looked like the eyeball of the gopher in my mirage.
So there I was, going downhill picking my pickers out of my hat, cloth mask, and fanny pack.
Luckily I noticed this before I put on my hat or put on my mask. Otherwise, I would have had to meet with my physician for cactus pickers tearing into my head and face and mid-section.
At this point, I once again hear in my head the Caddyshack gopher guy squealing with laughter and starting to dance. And coughing out smoke.
Yikes, maybe I do need to reach out. Let me check my insurance to see the deductible on a physician visit that involves a strange dream/real-life imagination that occurs during a hike in the middle of a worldwide pandemic that results in cactus pickers all over my face and head.
